Dear Rikku
by Broken2Pieces
Summary: despite the fact of her upcoming marriage, Yuna is still devastated over the death of her cousin so Lulu asks her to write letters to help her cope.
1. Chapter 1

July 27. Dear Rikku.

Hi. This is your cousin, Yuna. I must admit I feel kind of silly writing this, you'll never be able to read them. You died a little over nine months ago, and…that was one of the saddest days of my life, but I promised Lulu that I'd try. She's worried about me; they all are. They say I should be moving on by now, but I just can't. I miss you so much! Why did you do it, Rikku? Why? I try my best to understand, but, it always comes back to why.

August 2. Dear Rikku,

I guess I should just start with what's been going on since you've left. Tidus and I have pushed back our wedding to give me some space and time to deal with your death. We'll be getting married sometime later this year. It was both of our decision. We both knew I may need some time to get myself back together again, especially at this time. It was this month when you started complaining about stabbing pains in your chest. We all just dismissed them as probably nothing. How I regret that decision. As the one taking care of you and a healer myself, I should have at least looked into what may have been going on. Maybe then I could have prevented what happened, but I didn't. Not until it was too late and Lulu found you gasping and writhing in pain.

Test showed that for some reason your heart was failing and you would need a transplant as soon as possible. How this could happen to a kid only seventeen years old, I don't know. How long you could survive without the new heart we didn't know, but we were confident that one would come in time. You told me not to worry, told your Father and Brother you'd be fine, that they should go ahead back to work. You'd have a wave sent out when the transplant came. We all believed you. How wrong we were…


	2. Chapter 2

August 5. Dear Rikku,

Wow. I have to admit these letters do seem to help some. I just thought you'd like to know how Lulu and Wakka are doing. Lulu was a few weeks pregnant when you died after all. Well, about a month ago Lulu gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! She was born healthy with black hair. She looks exactly like Lulu in every way! You would never guess Wakka fathered her. Wakka said such a beautiful baby deserved to be named after the most beautiful woman in the whole world. So, let me introduce miss Lulia Ann, Lulu for short, of course. You would have loved her, Rikku, she is the sweetest little girl ever! Vidina parades around the village with her introducing her to everyone! It's so cute. Wakka says the next child should look exactly like him. Lulu said, 'What next child? When you learn to carry one for nine months, we'll have another child.' poor wakka.

September 9. Dear Rikku,

So much has happened in the last month! Tidus and I have decided to get married November 16th. Ready or not, marriage here I come!

It hurts that you won't be able to be a part of the biggest day of my life, but I've kept Tidus waiting long enough. I also need something to keep myself busy. The anniversary of your death is just around the corner. It was also this month you introduced me to Petra, a little girl in the hospital in which you were staying who had the same heart condition you had.

You two bonded right away. I remember visiting you both because you were so inseparable. You kept her hopes up and kept her laughing. Her parents said that's what must have kept her going for so long. You gave her reason to fight. I'll never forget the call I got from you only two weeks later. Petra had passed away unexpectedly in her sleep, and you were crushed. In the years I'd known you I'd never heard you cry so hard.

That night we stayed up until dawn holding each other. That night you showed genuine fear about your situation. You didn't know what would happen if you died and you were scared. We talked long into the night about this and it seemed to give you peace of mind on the fact. It also helped that Petra's parents gave you a small necklace locket to remember her by. Looking back, I wonder if this had anything to do with your choice. I mean, I understand, but I don't understand. I guess that's to be expected, though, from those left behind. I hope you and Petra are having a great time. I love you so much, Rikku! Never forget that. I may be moving forward, but You're always on my heart.


	3. Chapter 3

September 20th. Dear Rikku,

I wish you could see my dress! It's beautiful. White, sleeveless, with imprints of my favorite flowers on it. I talked with your father today. He seems to be doing ok considering…

He will be the one who will give me away at the ceremony. He is my family, after all. I've already got butterflies in my stomach. Before we defeated Sin, I tried my hardest not to fall in love at all, and now I'm only months away from marrying the love of my life. We'll be married on the beach here in Besaid. I can't but hardly contain my anticipation and excitement. My only regret is that you won't be there by my side.

October 2. Dear Rikku,

Please excuse the tear-stains on this letter. The month I've been dreading is upon us. This day a year ago I got the call from your father that a match for a heart had been found, and not a moment to soon. Already your heart was barely pumping enough to keep your body going. You were dying. As it was your survival rate of the surgery wasn't definite. Only Seventy-five percent.

I knew something was wrong the moment I saw your expression. You kept looking over at the kid who had taken Petra's place. She was only six. It should have tipped me off when you asked her doctor what the child's chances of survival were. Sadly, since she was so young it wasn't good. If she got a heart right away she'd be fine, otherwise she'd probably die within the month. Since they tried to keep those of the same organ type together, you already knew it would work, and you asked that the heart go to the little girl.

We all stared at you in shock. Without this heart, you would die. Even if another became available, you'd be to weak for the surgery. The doctor tried to explain this to you, but you wouldn't be swayed. Even when your family and I begged you not to, you signed the waiver, and after some pleading from you, your father honored your wish and signed it too.

Many tears slowed that night. Ours of the coming grief, and the parents of the little girl's of joy as they hugged and thanked you time and again. I know you did it because of Petra, because of grief that had ransacked her parents from losing their daughter so young. You wanted this girl to be able to enjoy life, even though it would cost your own. The doctors gave you a few weeks to live. I'm sorry, Rikku, I can't do this right now. I'll write again soon.


	4. Chapter 4

October 5th.

DNR. That's the name of the next document you were recommended to sign. That way when your heart had finally stopped, they wouldn't have to injure you to bring you back. Most likely it wouldn't have worked anyway. You signed it so we wouldn't have to hold our breath and hope for a miracle when it happened. You were a very sick child making decisions to best serve those around you. You were a saint hon, a saint.

October 10th. Dear Rikku,

On this day you were struggling to stay conscious. We all sat by your side as you fought to keep your eyes open. You told us not to cry despite your own tears, that you loved us all so much, and that you'd be waiting for us in the farplane. You hugged each of us so tightly with a strength surprising for your condition, or maybe you'd been saving your strength to say goodbye.

The little girl's parents came in later to tell you that the girl's surgery had been a success thanks to you. You gave them a small smile. Told them you were glad she was ok. Soon after you slipped into semi-consciousness and the doctors hooked you up to the life support system. Your hand never left the locket around your neck.

October 13th. Dear Rikku,

Preparations for the wedding are near complete. Vidina makes a darling little ring bearer. His curly orange hair is long like his father's now, but not in such a horrible hair style. Tidus and I are both as nervous as can be, but really happy, too. My hut is somewhat emptier now that the process of moving my stuff to Tidus' has begun. In just a few short months we'll be married and starting a whole new life together. It really is a beautiful thing.


	5. Chapter 5

October 15. Dear Rikku,

It was early this morning when I got the call. Your Father told me to come down, that this was it. Your were completely comatose when I arrived. You could no longer breathe on your own. A machine now controlled full function of what your heart and lungs should have been doing, and today we would receive papers to turn it off. We figured we owed it to you to end your suffering at last. We spent the whole day holding your hand and telling you how much we loved you. Lulu and Wakka came by a little later to say farewell as well. Even Lulu cried a bit. She told you that they'd just found out that she was pregnant again and she wished you could have seen the child. Not a dry eye was in the room.

Finally your father gathered your frail little body in his arms and just held you close for a bit, whispering in your language in your ear while your brother stroked you lovingly. Then, with a teary nod, he signaled the doctor to turn it off. With a small sigh, you died in your father's arms surrounded by your friends. I performed the sending personally. If you were brave enough to give your life for a girl you didn't know, then I was going to be strong enough to send you off. I don't have anything more to say about this day except, I love you Rikku, And I miss you so much.

October 20th.

RIP my cousin. This day your ashes were spread upon the ocean. I'm sorry, Rikku. I need some time to think.


	6. Chapter 6

November 12. Dear Rikku,

There's been so much to get done in these last few days. My wedding is only five days away and I just wanted to say thank you. Even though you never could read these letters, it really helped me through the last few months. I'll be wearing the locket you wore on your final night in my wedding. Uncle Cid gave it to me, said you told him you wanted me to have it. This will actually be the first time for me to wear it because now instead of the pain I used to feel while looking at it, I feel love and your sacrifice. At least with this a part of you will be with me after all.

November 16th. Dear Rikku,

The day is here! In only a few moments I'll be walking into the first day of the rest of my life. This is my final letter to you, Rikku, because over the last few months I've realized something. I don't need these to feel close to you. You are always there within my memories, and even though saying your name blossoms pain into the hole that is inside me, I will still say it. Every day the pain lessens just a little and I laugh a little more. Besides, Tidus and I have decided to name our first child, boy or girl, Rikku after you, the kindest person I've ever known. Maybe one day I'll visit the farplane and read these letters to you, and we'll talk about the good times we had together. I'll tell you how it feels to be married and when I have my first child, I'll introduce you to Rikku. Until then, my dear cousin, stay strong. I hear the music starting up and should probably get over there. Please know this, my dear friend, know that I love you, and miss you, and look forward to seeing you soon.

Be at peace,

Your beloved cousin, Yuna.


End file.
